Yesterday was a momentous day in our household. Our daughter learned to ride her bike without training wheels. Well, she's getting there and she'll pick up again today and learn a little bit more. I'm not sure if this is a bigger accomplishment for her or for her parents. If you could have seen our excitement yesterday, you would have wondered if Raina had invented the bicycle rather than just learn to ride it.
Some of you are at the stage now where your kids are moving out of the house and going to college and this is also a very big occasion. What we are doing today in church is celebrating momentous transitions in life. Whether those transitions be moving off to college or having children or becoming a grandparent, or whatever the transition is in your life. We celebrate all of them as we celebrate the very cycle of life itself.
We have some funny attitudes toward aging and George Carlin, the comedian, offers this wonderful piece, which is a very funny way of looking at age:
The only people who want to be older than they are currently are children. Children so want to be older than they are; they measure their age in fractions. If you say to a young person, "How old are you?" you are likely to get the answer "3 3/4" or "4 1/2" or whatever the answer may be.
And then teenagers are so eager to get ahead in their age that they’re just as likely to say they are about to be 18 when they are actually only 16.
But then we say that we BECOME 21. It's as if overnight you morph into some new creation.
If you become 21, then you TURN 30. Turning 30 speaks of milk that sours. Suddenly we are no fun at all, and have no enthusiasm left for life.
If you turn 30 then you're PUSHING 40. If you're pushing 40 it's like you put the brakes on. They’re not quite working so we push on through 40 and REACH 50.
When you reach 50 it's as though all of your dreams are shattered and lay in waste behind you.
If you reach 50 you MAKE IT to 60. Implying that you weren't quite sure you would.
If you make it to 60 then you HIT 70. And once you hit 70 all it's all downhill from there. Because once you get into your 80s apparently every day is its own life cycle. You REACH lunch, you MAKE IT to dinner, and then you HIT bed.
And something amazing happens when you get into your 90s. Your age begins to go backwards. Someone tells you they are 90 but they are actually 92. It is said to be a great miracle when someone makes it to 100, and at that point they revert to their childhood, and begin to speak in fractions again. "I'm 100 1/2!"
May we all celebrate being 100 1/2, whether we're young children or 100 year-olds, and may we all celebrate the joys and freedom in life that allow us to count our age in fractions.
Some have suggested that the whole life cycle is backwards, and in fact would be better if we started off dying and get that out of the way, and then move straight into an old age home where every day we feel more and more healthy.
When we get so healthy that they kick us out of the old age home, we go find a job. On the first day of our job we are given a gold watch. We work for 40 years and then are young enough to enjoy retirement, and then we party and have a great time in high school. Then we become children, and we have no responsibilities at all. Life is only about playing, and then finally we spend the last nine months of our life in an ever-expanding climate controlled all-inclusive spa.
Now those of you who know that joke know that there is another ending to the story, a climax you might say, but I'm not going to go there today. We are in church after all.
The Hero’s Journey
The psychologist Carl Jung had the theory that when we are in utero we are experiencing a pre-conscious state. We are completely whole, we are at one with mother and surroundings. From the moment we are born we begin the process of separating from our mother, our parents, our family and communities, and so the process goes on.
He calls the process "individuation" or else you might call it self-realization. As we go through life and all the wonderful markers and transitions of life- whether it's leaving home, having children, having your children leave home, becoming a grandparent, whatever the transitions of life are, they become for us wondrous moments of personal growth.
Joseph Campbell described this as the “hero’s journey.” It’s a hero’s journey not because the hero achieves spectacular public things; it’s a hero’s journey because it's the human journey. It’s a journey where despite the setbacks we keep getting up, dusting ourselves off and going again. That’s the hero’s journey and Joseph Campbell says there are three stages to the hero’s journey- the departure, the initiation, and the return.
When we set out on the journey we have transition moments, which become for us initiations. And when we return it's as if we come back to the same place and see for the first time with new eyes, with a new heart, and a deeper understanding of the inter-dependence of all things, all people and all situations.
Jesus’ Parables and the Hero’s Journey
I want to consider the story that you heard from Matthew 12 this morning in the light of Joseph Campbell's hero's journey. Joseph Campbell was very influenced by Carl Jung.
Matthew 12
46While he was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and his brothers were standing outside, wanting to speak to him. 47Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” 48But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Consider Matthew 12 as a parable that Jesus offers in the context of departure, initiation, and return. Keep in mind that Jesus, not long before, said to his disciples, “You must leave your family and follow me and never look back.” So they had departed, and he offered them all sorts of challenges, opportunities and initiations.
He challenged their loyalty to family honor. Family honor in this world was everything. Because of the system of arranged marriages, each family in a village knew all the other family's net worth. Family honor was measured by the bloodlines and by the family's net worth. Family honor was everything and Jesus challenged his disciples to leave behind family honor and move into a more expansive sense of family.
Jesus also challenged his disciples to leave behind the bloodlines of their religious rituals and heritage. Religious heritage was also all important in that world. This was a huge initiation for his disciples to consider, going beyond the religious heritage they grew up with. Yet that's exactly what he called his disciples to do.
He offered them a parable in Matthew 12, and it is the Who is My Mother? Parable. This is a parable that he offers as if to say to them on the departure that when they return the world will look like such a large and interdependent place, that all people would be their family. Of course they will have a particular relationship to actual friends and family, but now anyone who goes on the hero’s journey is family.
Anyone who is striving for self-realization is part of the family. It doesn't matter what name you put on it, it doesn't matter what religious heritage it has, it doesn't matter the age or the stage or the class of life, anyone who is on the hero's journey is a part of the family.
One of my favorite books is a children's book called Are You My Mother? This is a wonderful book, and I was reminded of it about a week ago and have found a copy so I could read it to my children.
This is a profound story that records a hero’s journey. It’s a story about a little baby bird that is hatched and its mother leaves the nest. The baby bird jumps out of the nest and goes on a journey to find the mother. So the baby bird approaches various creatures and asks, "Are you my mother?"
In each case the answer comes back "No I am not your mother." Finally the bird asks a large truck, and the truck says no, but picks up the baby bird and puts it back into the nest.
The mother returns home and asks the baby bird, "Do you know who I am?" The baby bird says, "Yes, I know who you are. You are not a kitten, you are not a hen, you are not a dog, you are not a cow, and you are not a boat or a plane or a snort. You are a bird, and you are my mother."
It’s such a happy ending and such a wonderful story of the hero's journey.
Are you My Family?
So my question to you this morning is are you my mother? Are you my sister? Are you my brother? Are you my family?
The more I get to know myself, the more I realize that you are mirroring me back to myself. The more I get to know myself, the more I know that all people are mirrors, all people are connected, all situations are interdependent, that we are intimately related as human beings to each other and to the earth. The more I get to know myself, the more I come to realize that I contain within myself all things and all possibilities.
I wonder if you might think about this from the context of family. You are part of a family, and your family may have its own unique quirks and style and values. My mother is here this morning and I have to tell you this is a Freudian moment for me. Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It's when you say one thing but mean your mother!
The Circle of Trust
Think about your own circle of trust.
If loyalty within your family opens you up to a more expansive view of family, then its healthy loyalty. On the other hand, maybe loyalty in your family is more like Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents. He holds a tight “Circle of Trust”, which will never be expanded to include anyone new. If loyalty in your family is more like De Niro’s circle of trust then it's a regressive and a tribal loyalty. It will be destructive for you and for others.
Consider it in terms of romantic relationships. My heart belongs to only one woman. It is an exclusive love. If that exclusive love opens me up to compassion that includes all people, then it's a healthy love. On the other hand, if that love closes me down out of fear it's a regressive and destructive type of love.
Think about it in terms of your view of nation. You are American citizens. Maybe many of you are proud in many ways of being American citizens. If your patriotism opens you up to the interdependence of the global community that you are a part of, then it's a healthy patriotism. If it closes you down, if it leads you to an isolationist perspective, then it's a regressive patriotism.
Do you see the pattern? The more you get to know your family, the more you will realize that your family is a microcosm of the world family. The more you get to know your nation and your place in the nation, you realize that this nation is part of a global network of relationships.
What I want to say to our three graduates this morning is actually something I want to say to all of you, whether the transitions that you're experiencing in your life are as parents, grandparents, or what ever they are.
God Becoming Conscious of God’s Self
You are an individual on a unique hero’s journey. It’s altogether different than the journey of any other individual present this morning. It’s unique and important. You may be part of a family, you may be in a relationship, part of a community, or part of a nation but above all else you are God becoming conscious of God’s self.
You are God having relationships. God going to college. You’re God experiencing sibling rivalry. God with depression, God with bipolar, God who is experiencing all the joys and the achievements of life. Nothing less.
Who’s your family? Anyone and everyone who is on the hero’s journey is your family. Everyone who is on the hero’s journey is reflecting back to you like a mirror, like a parable; the very qualities of God consciousness.
This is a hero’s journey. We're all in this together, every one of us. Hearts that connect, hearts that take a beating and then get up and go again. That’s our hero's journey, and it's common to every one of us as each of us manifest God consciousness individually and as a group.
|
