June 9 , 2005 -Same Sex Different Positions!

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different
and yet the same. ~Anne Frank

"Eroticizing Oppression- Same Sex Marriage"

By: Ian Lawton

The counter part to “Eve” in Greek mythology was Pandora. Pandora was given
as a gift to the Titan Epimetheus. Unfortunately this union lasted about as
long as a Britney Spears marriage. When Pandora opened her dowry she
unleashed from her infamous box all manner of quandary and complexity. And
to think we complained that we got too many salad bowls.

Among the offerings of Pandora’s box came the complex relationships humans
have enjoyed for millennia; gender, sexuality, marriage, the law,
economics and religion.

Does Christian teaching shed any light on this can of worms we call
marriage, and in particular does it have any wisdom for the current debate
over same sex marriage?

Here are three possibilities.

Pope Benedict maintains that marriage between one man and one woman is
sacred.

Local psychology Professor and elder in the Reformed Church of America,
David Myers, argues in, his recently released book, “What God Has Joined
Together? : A Christian Case for Gay Marriage” that marriage is so sacred
that it should be open to opposite and same sex couples equally.

Toronto Lawyer, Karen Andrews, both works for equal legal rights for same
sex couples and also abhors marriage as an institution. Andrews believes
that marriage as an institution is beyond redemption, and she is not alone
in this belief.

American feminist author, Robin Morgan, said, “We can’t destroy the
inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.”

Australian feminist academic, Sheila Jeffreys, takes all the fun out of
marriage. “When a woman reaches climax with a man she is only
collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own
oppression.”

How might each of these three views be assessed?

The less said about the new Pope the better. I vowed not to criticize him
too quickly. But let me say that his papal honeymoon is now over. He has
publicly paralleled same sex unions with anarchy and said that marriage
between a man and a woman is not a social construction and is rather a
divinely ordained pattern.

Has he forgotten that in Hebrew culture marriage was more about a man
coveting his in laws’ goat than their daughter? Has he forgotten that the
great King Solomon had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred
concubines? Has he forgotten that polygamy has been more common than
monogamy over the course of history? Has he forgotten that Joseph and Mary
were not married when they bore Jesus who may have then gone on to “live in
sin” with another Mary?

Has he forgotten that the Romans codified marriage with three types of
union, depending on your social class? The rich got a confarreatio, which
included a big celebration. The masses simply “shacked up”, and after a
time they were considered married. A woman in a coemptio was essentially
sold to her husband and had the same legal status as a child.

Marriage as the Pope defines it didn’t exist 2000 years ago, nor even 200
years ago. How much more of a social construction could it be? Playing
with history like that is more likely to lead to anarchy than legalizing
same sex marriage. The simple fact is that marriage has always been more
about business than sexuality, or even gender. The important distinction
is that the gendered nature of marriage has always been part of the
business of marriage. It may be that same sex marriage is bad for
business.

So much for Pope Benedict. His logic is as soft and gooey as Eggs
Benedict.

David Myers offers a helpful bridge from the Pope’s views to an egalitarian
liberal perspective. Using almost the same argument as the Pope, he has
arrived at a completely different conclusion. He suggests that marriage
makes people happier and healthier, therefore it makes sense to make it an
option for same sex couples. In fact he goes so far as to say that the
critique of the Christian right (that homosexuality is wrong because it is
a promiscuous lifestyle) would be addressed by giving same sex couples the
security of legal matrimony.

It’s a good book for people wanting a bridge from an evangelical
perspective to something more inclusive. It’s not radical by any means.
Keep in mind however that he lectures in a College where one of its
popular associate professors resigned under pressure for suggesting that
homosexuality was not morally wrong and engaged in a public debate with
Focus on the Family Founder James Dobson. That view didn’t sit well with
the major donors apparently.

Myer’s thesis is basically that legalizing same sex marriages will
strengthen the institution of marriage itself. That’s great if the
institution is worthy of that sort of power. I wonder why gay and lesbian
people would want to buy into a social construction that was created in
the interests of patriarchy. Patriarchy has never been kind to
homosexuality.

Myer’s book is a great resource for Christians wanting to put some flesh on
an instinct that all people should be treated equally. Its limitation is
that it makes some assumptions that marriage is the only way to happiness.

The strength of Karen Andrew’s perspective is that she asks the hard
questions of marriage as an institution while also striving for equal
rights for all couples. This is a balance that the church might consider
emulating.

In any case, kudos to David Myers. He moves the church one step closer to
relevance. Any reform that protects same sex couples from discrimination
should be applauded by a church that carries on the mission of Jesus, the
great egalitarian prophet. It would be exciting for the church to also be
at the forefront of affirming the range of healthy and legally protective
options to marriage.

It would also be a hopeful change to hear the church critique the ideology
of oppression that has always beset marriage as a patriarchal institution.
Maybe the ultimate hope would be to have the church encourage same sex
couples to model a new way of cohabiting that doesn’t depend on a power
relationship, whether this is marriage or not.

The box is far from closed. Benedict, Myers and Andrews have lifted that
lid in their own ways. Now it is time for all of us, married and not, to
sift through the possibilities and bring some sense and justice to the
discussion.

"Pope Benedict Denounces Same-Sex Union, Abortion and Embryo Research" To
read more on this story Click Here for Christian Today

For more information on David Myer's new book, "What God Has Joined
Together: A Christian Case for Gay Marriage" and the recent controversy at
Hope College Read the Detroit Free Press Article Here

To read more on Karen Andrews and her critique of marriage check out The
Queer Argument Against Marriage

Human Rights Campaign

Check out this great site, working for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender equal rights.

Click Here for the Human Rights Campaign

Get Involved!

Check out this website to receive practical advice on how to get involved
in putting an end to homophobia.

www.homophobiaday.com

Holland's Second Annual Gay and Lesbian Pride Event

Check out this informational poster for Holland's Second Annual Gay and
Lesbian Pride Event.

June 24th 7:00-9:30 pm
Grace Episcopal Church
Holland, Michigan

Holland Gay and Lesbian Pride Event

Comic Relief

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put
out. The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that
question." ~Author Unknown

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about
it, he shouldn't! ~George Bernard Shaw

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